“Not everything that counts can be counted;
Not everything that can be counted counts.” [C]
“When old age shall this generation waste,
Thou shalt remain, in midst of other woe
Than ours, a friend to man, to whom thou say’st,
‘Beauty is truth, truth beauty,—that is all
Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know.” John Keates [K]
Ira Byock, The Four Things That Matter Most [Book Review-BR]
How to protect and preserve your most valuable possessions – relationships.
Everyone requires seven powerful words: forgive, I, love, me, please, thank, you
Author: Ira Byock Genres: Inspirational · Psychology
One does not need a particular impending threat to nurture your garden of “people-treasure” Although, this wisdom came from the most senior of us, it is important for everyone as maturity’s values platform, whatever one’s age.
Forgiveness: Many people confuse forgiveness with exoneration. It does not alleviate guilt. Forgiveness accepts the past as it was, the present for what it is, and faces the future. Forgiving is a strategy to become free of the emotional ball and chain of old wounds.
I. “Please forgive me” Although I am not perfect, we are not perfect. We have emotional wounds. “Forgiving is an act of cleansing that enables the wisdom within us to reach out…[and undergo healing.]”
II. “I forgive you” The economy of emotional debt: If someone has “wounded” you, one tends to carry it as a long-term [emotional] debt; the act of forgiving writes off that debt, for you, if not the one who committed the offense, providing a clean slate.
III. “Thank you” “By paying attention to the details of the ways in which people give to us and show us care and consideration, we… focus on our good fortune rather than our problems…feelings of gratitude can pervade our lives.”
IV. “I love you” ” Love is its own ‘because!’ “If you love someone, no other reason for loving–or living–is needed.: it is Nietzsche’s “why.” “If one has a why to live, one can bear almost any how” [N] ” “I cannot lose you, because if I ever did, I’d have lost my best friend, my soul mate, my smile, my laugh, my everything.” [I] “You can live without the person who says You are mine. But you can not live without someone who says I am yours. May you be blessed with at least one such person in life!”[I]
Charles Clanton Rogers Please leave some “footprints” in the comment section.
If you Like this; consider Reblog or Share
[I] Kazuo Ishiguro; Never let Me Go, 2005 Random House, Inc. Random House Audio, a division of Random House, Inc.
[BR] Publisher’s Summary: “Four simple phrases — “Please forgive me,” “I forgive you,” “Thank you,” and “I love you” — carry enormous power. In many ways, they contain the most powerful words in our language. These four phrases provide us with a clear path to emotional wellness; they guide us through the thickets of interpersonal difficulties to a conscious way of living that is full of integrity and grace.
In The Four Things That Matter Most, Dr. Ira Byock, an international leader in palliative care, teaches us how to practice these life-affirming words in our day-to-day lives. Too often we assume that the people we love know we love them. Dr. Byock reveals the value of stating the obvious and provides insights into how we burden ourselves by hanging on to old grudges unconsciously and unnecessarily. He shows us how to avoid living with those awkward silences and uncomfortable issues that distance us from the people we love and erode our sense of well-being and joy. His insights and stories help us to forgive, appreciate, love, and celebrate one another more fully.
The inspiring stories in The Four Things That Matter Most demonstrate the usefulness of the Four Things in a wide range of life situations. They also show that a degree of emotional healing is always possible and that we can experience a sense of wholeness even in the wake of family strife, personal tragedy, divorce, or in the face of death. With practical wisdom and spiritual punch, The Four Things That Matter Most gives us the language and guidance to honor and experience what matters most in our lives every day.”
[K] John Keats. 1795–1821, Ode on a Grecian Urn Arthur Quiller-Couch, ed. 1919. The Oxford Book of English Verse: 1250–1900.
[B] Ira Byock, The Four Things That Matter Most – 10th Anniversary Edition: A Book About Living
[C] William Bruce Cameron